While digging into ways to separate read and write queries in a mysql cluster, I came acoss some interesting notes from MediaWiki on how to deal with replication lag. They have custom monitoring in place to prevent queries from going to excessively lagged slave databases, as well as a mechanism for stopping all writes until the cluster can catch up again. They say this about the most lag-inducing queries:
To avoid excessive lag, queries which write large numbers of rows should be split up, generally to write one row at a time. Multi-row INSERT ... SELECT queries are the worst offenders should be avoided altogether. Instead do the select first and then the insert.
As far as ways to force updates, they are pragmatic:
In most cases you should just read from the slave and let the user deal with the delay.
-- From the MediaWiki Manual